


Part 4: You and I

by SesameiBun



Series: Requiem of the Promised [4]
Category: Purple Hyacinth (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, F/M, Heavy Angst, My First Fanfic, Tragedy, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:28:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24118009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SesameiBun/pseuds/SesameiBun
Summary: "If only I had known, everything would have been different."
Relationships: Lauren Sinclair/Kieran White
Series: Requiem of the Promised [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1740154
Comments: 10
Kudos: 50





	Part 4: You and I

The deafening thumping of Lauren's heart muffled her ears. Adrenaline seized her body and clenched her innards in an icy grip. The Apostle's lifeless corpse lay twisted, collapsed upon itself like a deflated circus tent. Lauren choked out a strangled cry and collapsed at Kieran's side. His unfocused gaze flitted to her face, wavering and resting tiredly in her eyes.

"Kieran—oh God, Kieran—" Lauren was biting back tears of panic as she gathered him in her arms and lifted his head onto her lap. Her fingers fluttered shakily over his clothes and she froze at the sensation of warm, sticky blood oozing from his side. Cold numbness and the realization that he was beyond saving jarred her, and Lauren blanched, eyes wide with terror. 

"Hold on, I'll save you," she stammered, voice quivering. "I can stop the bleeding, just hold on. I'll use my shirt and I'll carry you to the hospital, okay?" The desperation in her usually confident voice softened the look in Kieran's eyes.

Lauren grabbed Belladonna's dagger lying nearby, and ripped it into her shirt, almost slitting her own skin. 

"Hold on, this will work, just stay with me..." Her eyes blurred with tears. "Just stay with—"

"Lauren." His voice, quiet with an emotion she had never heard from him before, startled her. Rugged hands clasped onto hers and coaxed the bloody dagger out of her fingers. It dropped to the floor with a dull clang.

Kieran licked his chapped lips, lips she never thought could be so rugged and torn, and she almost couldn't recognize the man lying before her.

This couldn't be Kieran White, the same man who had held a sword to her throat, danced with her, tousled her hair, and sutured her wounds, all with that same teasing smile on his face. The smile which, now absent, left a gaping chasm in her gut.

"Well, well, Officer," he whispered, "I have to say I wasn't expecting for you to come back for me. And certainly not for you to so expertly one-shot the Apostle." A hoarse chuckle escaped his throat, but there was no mirth behind it.

Lauren gritted her teeth against the scream trapped in her throat. 

"We're not done yet. We have a lead, we can find the Leader and kill him!" Her voice rose with every word. "We will get through this, I won't let you die―"

"No." 

Kieran's voice carried quietly into the air. There was no resentment in his words, not a hint of vengeance remained there.

"W-What do you mean?" Lauren demanded, voice shaking. What was that look in his eyes? Did they always look so... sad?

"Let me die, darling." The words sounded foreign and Kieran's expression hardened. "I can't let you further dirty your hands for a monster like me."

_Monster_. The veracity of the word stabbed into Lauren's gut and a single tear dripped onto Kieran's face, leaving a salty trail in the dried blood.

"No," she choked. "Don't say that." The man who had bandaged her wounds, lent her his bed, and shared her company with such gentle distance could never be a monster.

"I need to die. To die would only repent half of my sins, but that would be okay," he rasped, voice getting weaker and weaker, "if only I could keep his promise. That boy, who loved you so much, at least if I could protect his precious friend until the very end, **I could die with no regrets**."

Lauren's eyes widened, and the name which she dared to utter slipped from her lips.

"Dylan...?"

And suddenly the world was crashing down on her shoulders. Her single driving motivation to abandon her life and morals, throw away her sense of self and to ally with the Phantom Scythe's most notorious killer, was the very reason she was still alive. The will of the innocence stolen by the Phantom Scythe, manifesting itself in its murderer's most brutal killing machine.

The smell of the blistering black smoke, the heat of the flames from that day slithered into Lauren's throat. She now could see that the gentleness in Kieran's eyes was the same as that in Dylan's before he left her forever. Deafening panic, which she never thought she would feel again, crashed into her mind, breaching the crumbling battlements of her denial.

"No..." The whimper of disbelief slipped from her lips as Kieran smiled painfully in acknowledgement.

As she felt the heat of Kieran's blood slowly drain from his body, the very sound of Dylan's voice, which had only lived in her memories, overlapped with Kieran's.

"He always remembered you," his voice drifting. "Even when he was on the verge of death, your smile was the sole thing he clung to. He wanted nothing more than for you to live out your dreams, and he left with me a flower and a promise to watch over," he paused, eyes softening with affection, "his precious little Ren."

_Ren_. She never thought that Dylan's nickname would sound so loving coming from Kieran's mouth. She was now cradling his head softly in her lap, unaware of how tight her grip had become.

" **I was so sure that this would bring me peace**. I was so sure that if I could just die saving you, I could die knowing I at least accomplished one thing in my wretched life."

The crystalline eyes which stared so intently into hers swam with regret.

"I was looking forward to death," he paused, surprised as a single tear rolled down his bloodstained cheek. The emergence of the raw emotion which Kieran thought himself to be devoid of stirred the dark recesses of his mind.

"But, for some reason," Kieran laughed, tears flowing freely now, "it doesn't feel as good as I thought it would."

As the truth of the matter dawned upon the both of them, a single thought rippled across their minds.

_This isn't what I wanted._

Lauren's shoulders shook with the effort of holding back the flood of tears, but the final thread of pride snapped, and the torrent burst forward, a waterfall of shock and pain and terrible dread streaming down her bruised cheeks. A guttural sob ripped from her throat as she clasped Kieran to her body, hands searching frantically, endlessly, for anything to hold on to. As Kieran's eyes darkened, she could hear Dylan's voice fading into the darkness again.

_Please, before you lose anybody else._

Now, neither the Phantom Scythe nor the Allendale tragedy mattered anymore. All Lauren could see was the broken body which was the vessel and protector of Dylan's love. No, it was more than that. This man was Kieran White, the man who shared her burdens, felt her pain, wiped her tears, and mourned the same boy she did. If he were to disappear, leave her before her very eyes, every last shred of her volition would be gone. For the first time, she desperately wanted him to stay.

The sight of Lauren's tears anguished Kieran and his heart fluttered. It took all his strength to lift his hand to wipe them from her cheek, movements tender and slow. Finally, his ragged breath convened into a voice.

"Meeting you was a blessing," he whispered. "You gave me back my humanity. For the first time in my life, I had something to live for." Crystalline tears reflected on azure mirrors in the moonlight.

Kieran breathed shakily, and the final barrier disintegrated in the rue of Lauren's tears.

"A handsome paradox, am I not?" he echoed the words wretchedly, voice growing smaller and weaker. "No matter how worthless, I still want to live as a man. No matter how selfish, I still want to stay by your side. I..."

His voice quivered, like a small child afraid of the dark. "I don't want to die."

The tears would not end. Years and years of guilt and desperation cascaded from the ocean and the sun, both reaching for a fleeting touch, but still a million miles apart.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Lauren wept. "From the start, I was the blindest of all. It's all my fault..."

The color had finally drained from Kieran's face, and his hand went slack in Lauren's grasp. His fingers brushed softly against her hair, falling away and landing in his lap. A purple hyacinth, flowers wilted and stained with blood, was tucked behind Lauren's ear.

"It's okay," his eyes seemed to say as they swam with remorse. His beautiful eyes of endless blue, a sea of unspoken apologies, lulled to sleep by the radiance of the waning moon.

Kieran's eyelids slowly closed, sun setting on the distant sea for the last time.

\-----

Dawn crept silently across the two figures locked in a still embrace against the wall. The soft warm light framed the man's face, enveloping it in a warm glow. He looked young, like a boy lying asleep under the sun.

The woman, left behind in the cold winter air, gazed quietly at the tranquil face. A single tear, glinting in the morning light, laid suspended on her auburn lashes. A purple hyacinth rested in her hair.

_If only I had known, everything would have been different._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading Requiem for the Promised! I wanted to convey all of my feelings about the Lauki relationship in one devastating fic -u- I hope to write more from now on!


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